She looks just like her…so beautiful…Elissa will you be my Carrie Ann?  I cocked my head to the side to peer at the mere beauty of her, but also at the utter similarity she shared with my late sister. 

               

“Ryan are you okay?” Elissa rubbed the top of my hand and smiled before dropping her head back and staring at the sun.  I did the same. As she chatted at the forever distance of happiness before she met me-I thought of the short time I had with his beautiful baby sister. No more waiting. No more struggling alone in the midst of my past.  No more standing at the gate of eternal depression. Somehow I did the impossible: I took a step backwards towards happiness….but that was never meant to be.

               

Her silhouette danced along the tree trunks before breaking into a sprinting shadow.  Carrie Ann was running toward the people she saw leisurely golfing. I felt like I couldn’t run fast enough, my chest tightened and my throat was beginning to go into a searing pain.  When Carrie Ann, the real Carrie Ann, died I vowed to make it up to her and if this one got away, another attempt of getting revenge for my past…failed.  When my daydreaming closed I realized I had caught up with Carrie Ann.  There she was in front of me: white nightgown scraping the air, her screams piercing the blotted sky, tangled hair flying in terror behind her.  This was it. One leap and my fears were over. 

               

She’s dead.  Her closed eyes and soft lips respite forever.  Empty body, heartless and soulless,  now just another life gone and passed with time. Carrie Ann number three’s story had ended, but I refused to let my own go even if it meant being stuck in this same chapter for the rest of my life.  Happily ever after wasn’t good enough because for true happiness you need revenge.